It is troubling when my child bites or scratches other children. 【Child-rearing Consultation】

Feb. 7, 2017（Last Update: June 14, 2026）

It is troubling when my child bites or scratches other children.

My child bit another child at kindergarten and caused an injury. There was also a time when he got into a fight with another child at the park and scratched the other child's face. Is this a sign of a rough personality? I am worried about how to prevent my child from being aggressive towards others.
(Mother of a 6-year-old boy)

It is important to listen to what children say slowly.

● Responder: Takashi Ueda
Pediatric specialist. Head of the Department of Pediatrics at Anan Kyoei Hospital in Tokushima Prefecture. Clinical professor at Tokushima University School of Medicine. Active in giving lectures nationwide and writing for medical journals while practicing. His publications include "Happy Parenting from Before Birth!" open_in_new and "The Phrases That Raise a Happy Child" open_in_new (published by Happy Science).

To prevent children from becoming frustrated

(1) Let's calmly listen to them.

(2) Let's gently give them guidance.

Ueda As children approach kindergarten age, their level of frustration can increase, leading to irritability and aggression towards other children. This is similar to adults.

Mother When do they become frustrated?

Ueda For example, when they want to be close to their mother but she is busy preparing dinner and cannot pay attention to them, or when their wishes and desires are not fulfilled. Additionally, when a younger sibling is born and they are expected to act as an older brother, children can also feel frustrated.

Mother What should I do when I don't understand what my child wants or what they dislike?

Ueda First, it is important to listen to what your child says slowly. For this, the mother needs to have a calm mind. The inability of children to express their feelings verbally to their mothers or friends can also lead to aggressive behavior. Let's patiently discuss with your child until you can understand their feelings. Saying, "I see you wanted this, I'm sorry I didn't understand," will help them feel understood. After your child no longer feels fear or anxiety, gently guiding them regarding aggressive behavior is also an important task for mothers.

(This article is Monthly "Hermes Angels" open_in_new reprinted from)

Recommended Books

"How to Nurture Individuality Well - A Bible for Mothers Raising Children" (by Takashi Okawa)

● Let's love our children's individuality even more.

From educational methods for preschoolers, the difference between corporal punishment and discipline, correct prenatal education, to overcoming rebellious phases and dealing with illnesses and disabilities—numerous hints derived from spiritual truths and the experiences of raising five children are here. This is a book you would want to read when you are troubled or exhausted from parenting.

→ Purchase on Amazon open_in_new
→ Purchase from Happy Science Publishing open_in_new

Have you found your "life's problem set" and solved it?

We offer life consultations.

Happy Science supports resolving worries and improving life circumstances. If you have worries or consultations, please feel free to visit our branch. Experienced branch leaders and instructors who have trained at Happy Science will listen to you. We will keep your privacy and secrets, so please feel safe to talk.