Overcoming Male Phobia - Love and Marriage - [Personal Experience]

Disgust Towards My Superior

I got married at 25 and am now living a happy married life. However, I originally had 'male phobia' and couldn't date until very recently. I was able to overcome my male phobia after becoming a working adult. It was triggered by a change in my perspective on my boss and my father.
My direct male superior at work was the type who would sulk and make sarcastic remarks if things didn't go his way. At that time, I found it physiologically unacceptable and felt disgust towards him. However, having learned the teachings of Happy Science, I thought, 'Nothing will change if I only harbor disgust. I must change myself first,' and made an effort to see my superior's good points. Gradually, I began to understand the difficulties men face in shouldering responsibilities at work, and I was able to understand my boss little by little. Then, when I boldly expressed my gratitude and respect, my boss's attitude changed dramatically, and he stopped being harsh with me.

Feelings of Gratitude Towards My Father Emerged

After that, my perspective on my father also changed. My father, who was a chef, was taciturn, and there was hardly any conversation with the family, and his relationship with my mother was very cold. Moreover, my parents had a 'shotgun marriage' and both worked, so I didn't receive much attention as a child, leading me to think, 'If I hadn't been born, my parents might have had a different life' and 'I'm just a nuisance to them.' These feelings of self-blame and loneliness gradually turned into dissatisfaction and contempt towards my father. However, the incident with my boss provided me with an opportunity to reflect on my relationship with my father, and I realized something. That was, my father was someone who hardly expressed his weaknesses or complaints at home. I later heard from my mother that my father was actually subjected to severe verbal abuse and sometimes violence from the head chef at work almost every day, which he never mentioned to the family. Hearing this made me feel sorry for my father, who worked hard for the family without saying anything, and gratitude welled up within me. As my understanding and respect for my father and my boss grew, my male phobia gradually faded away.

I Met My Ideal Man

I gradually became able to see the good points in men and change myself to approach them with the mindset of 'trying to understand.' Then, around that time, I met my current husband. He is kind, sincere, and always has an attitude of trying to understand others. Until then, I had a tendency to stubbornly hold on to my pride out of a desire not to show my weak self, but by interacting with his character, I learned the importance of being tolerant and being myself, allowing me to grow significantly. I have gained a sense of mental ease, and people often tell me, 'You've become softer than before.'
The previously cold relationship between my father and mother has also become very harmonious through practicing the teachings of Happy Science. I hope to build a harmonious marital relationship with my husband and lead a happy married life from now on.