Overcoming the sadness of my husband's death: "You, let's meet again in heaven" 【Happy Science Faith Experience】

Ms. K (in her 40s, female)

Overcoming the sadness of my husband's death

"It's been quite a while since you left for heaven. Both our sons and I are doing well. Are you living happily in heaven too?"

I can now think of my husband in heaven with a smile.

I would like to share how I, who was once unable to do anything after losing my beloved, managed to overcome my sadness.

Terminal diagnosis

"Unfortunately, your husband is in the terminal stage of lung cancer."

Noticing a lump under his armpit, he underwent tests just to be sure. I was stunned by the doctor's announcement in the presence of my husband.

(It must be some mistake. He gets a health checkup every year!)

According to the doctor, the lesion was hidden just behind the ribs and had been overlooked during health screenings. Furthermore, it had metastasized to the lymph nodes, leading to rapid spread to the brain. I was told, "He was just unlucky."

In his absence, it was said that he had "three to six months to live."

He was still 42, in the prime of his working life. Our eldest son was preparing for junior high entrance exams, and our youngest was in the third grade of elementary school.

(Why is this happening? We haven't done anything wrong. Why him?)

My mind went completely blank.

The wave of regret

My husband Y and I had an arranged marriage.

"He seems like a kind person who is filial to his parents..." I was drawn to his sincere character. Two months after our meeting, we exchanged engagement gifts and got married the following year. We were blessed with two boys and were living a picture-perfect happy married life.

That all changed suddenly, plunging us into the depths of suffering in our 13th year of marriage.

Indeed, my husband had a habit of smoking, and it seemed he had been overworking at his job when he fell ill. As an export manager for an automobile manufacturer, he often traveled abroad, and due to labor shortages from the recession, it was not uncommon for him to return home at 1 or 2 AM.

Honestly, I resented the company, wondering, "Was it really necessary to work so hard until it got this bad?"

But more than anything, I blamed myself as his wife. "I saw him every day, why didn't I notice the changes sooner...?" I couldn't stop regretting it.

The creeping shadow of death

"There must be a way to cure him." I read every book with the word "cancer" in the title and researched alternative therapies and health foods. However, despite my desperate efforts, his condition worsened day by day. His appetite diminished, his lymph nodes swelled, and his left arm became weak, leaving behind the vibrant man I once knew.

My husband, who never complained in front of others, once muttered a phrase that I cannot forget. While I was supporting him as we moved around the hospital, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and said, "What a miserable self..."

The frustration of having to step back from his career at the peak of his working life. The anxiety of leaving behind young children. How deeply regretful he must have felt. Faced with my husband, who was clearly heading towards "death," I lost the words to say.

A ray of light

It was during this time of feeling trapped. A friend of my mother, Ms. T, who is a member of Happy Science, heard about our situation and sent us a book called "The Law of the Sun" open_in_new from Happy Science.

Thinking that I might find some encouraging words for my husband, I began to read.

"Humans have lived with eternal life since ancient times."

"Humans are heart. They are soul. Therefore, the only thing that can be taken to the afterlife is your own heart." (from "The Law of the Sun" open_in_new)

(Eternal life? The afterlife? If there is an afterlife, does that mean that even if Dad passes away, we can meet again there?)

Though I couldn't be sure right away, thinking that "death is not an eternal farewell" eased my despairing heart a little.

When I called Ms. T to thank her, she spoke to me very kindly. "The Buddha is always watching over you. Especially in tough times, he is there to support you." I was so encouraged by her words.

Is this attachment causing Dad suffering?

About a year after receiving the cancer diagnosis, on an autumn day, I noticed an advertisement on the train heading to the hospital. It was an advertisement for the movie "The Law of the Sun" open_in_new.

"This is the movie Ms. T mentioned. I want to see it. But I have to go to the hospital, so it might be impossible..."

Two days later, a letter arrived at my home from one of my husband's former colleagues. When I opened it, I found two tickets to the movie "The Law of the Sun."

Thinking this was some kind of fate, I took my youngest son to see it.

I was drawn into the grand story depicting the history of humanity from the very beginning. Among the scenes, the moment the Buddha attained enlightenment is still vividly etched in my heart.

"Even if it is a human heart that thinks of family, if it becomes attachment, it will be the cause of suffering. Entering a state of flowing like the water of a stream, without clinging to anything..." (from the movie "The Law of the Sun")

It felt as if it was speaking directly to me.

(The desire for him to live even one more day, perhaps this is my attachment. Is this attachment causing not only me but also Dad to suffer...?)

I couldn't hold back my tears.

After that, the desire for him to live longer did not disappear, but at the same time, the wish to "please save my husband's soul" grew stronger.

A friend in the same situation

Feeling that there was salvation in Happy Science, I visited the Tokyo branch introduced by Ms. T. The branch manager and a female staff member listened to me with great care and offered prayers for my husband's recovery.

And as I was leaving, I was given a small booklet titled "The Evangelism" open_in_new as a souvenir.

When I got home and read it, there was an account by a person named Mr. M.

(Is Mr. M. that Mr. M.? He was a member of Happy Science.)

Mr. M. is a neighbor with whom I have served on the PTA. He also lost his husband to cancer while raising three children, but his experience of overcoming that sadness through faith was shared.

"I never knew there was someone in such a similar situation so close by," I felt a deep connection.

Finally, that moment came.

Seeing me regain hope, my husband also began reading the books of Happy Science: "The Law of the Sun" open_in_new "The Law of Gold" open_in_new "The Law of Eternity" open_in_new "The Rebirth of Buddha" open_in_new. When his strength waned and he could no longer hold books, he listened to the CDs of the teachings.

"Believing that there is an afterlife" was the only solace for us as a couple.

In December of that year, while recuperating at home, my husband suddenly said.

"Mom, let's meet in the afterlife."

My husband must have realized that his time was near. Two days later, his condition suddenly worsened.

And on January 2, as the new year began, my husband peacefully passed away with family watching over him. His face was so beautiful that my father-in-law said, "It's a face you want to boast about to others."

While it was some comfort that he departed peacefully, facing the reality of my husband's death felt like my flesh was being torn apart.

"Dad, breathe. Please breathe!" I collapsed in tears beside the bed.

I cried throughout the funeral, but the moment I saw the ashes after cremation, I thought, "Ah, there's no going back now!" Tears flowed endlessly. A small puddle formed at my feet.

You're not alone.

Eventually, winter break ended, and the children went to school, while my parents, who had come to help, returned home. During the day, alone in the house, I thought, "Now I can cry as much as I want," and I cried out loud.

At that moment, I heard a voice from behind me saying, "Mom, Mom." (Huh?) I turned around, but no one was there.

(That was definitely Dad's voice. He came to me out of concern...)

It is said that the soul of the deceased remains in this world until the 49th day.

"If I keep crying forever, Dad might not be able to depart for the afterlife peacefully. For Dad's sake and for the children's sake, I have to do my best." I encouraged myself.

After a while, I received a call from Mr. M., who was featured in "The Evangelism" open_in_new. Mr. M., who also attended the funeral, was worried about my condition and invited me to the branch open_in_new. Feeling that I was saved by the teachings of Happy Science and the kindness of people like T-san, I joined at that time.

The members of the branch were very warm, and especially Mr. M. always supported me by saying, "You're not alone. I'm 100% on your side."

Realizing my husband's love.

Supported by the love of many people, I regained the strength to live and was able to start working three months later. Fortunately, my husband's boss, concerned about our family's livelihood, introduced me to an office job at the same company.

I never dreamed that I, who had been a full-time housewife for 15 years, could become a full-time employee. I realized that the company I once resented had actually been supporting us all along.

Moreover, witnessing the work of mid-level men during a recession, I learned how harsh the environment was in which my husband worked. He was always expected to give 120% and was harshly reprimanded by his superiors. Even when he was unwell, he pushed himself. Realizing the love my husband had for our family, working himself to the bone, I felt deep gratitude and respect.

The day a miracle happened.

Wanting to express my gratitude to my husband, I applied for his "eternal memorial service" at the branch open_in_new in September of that year. Later that month, I participated in the "Grand Festival of Ancestor Worship" at the Headquarters of Happy Science, Seishinkan (Utsunomiya City, Tochigi Prefecture) open_in_new.

Looking back now, I think that was a turning point in my life.

When I arrived at Seishinkan and entered the chapel, I was lucky to find one or two seats available in the front. Shortly after being shown to my seat, an announcement suddenly came: "Today, we will receive a teaching from President Ryuho Okawa open_in_new." I had the miraculous opportunity to hear the Buddha's teachings directly.

When President Okawa took the stage, the entire chapel was enveloped in an indescribably pure atmosphere in an instant.

(Those who are enlightened are so pure and precious...)

Seeing President Okawa for the first time, he shone with a divine light.

The teaching was about guidance after death.

"Those who realize for the first time that there are living souls after returning to the afterlife are truly surprised. Therefore, if possible, I want you to know while you are still alive. I want you to have some connection in this world. Even having read a book that contains the teachings just once is a foothold for enlightenment." (From the teaching "Lecture on the 'Grand Headquarters Ancestor Worship Sutra'")

I wept uncontrollably at the Buddha's compassion.

"Dad's soul will also be saved by the Buddha..." I couldn't help but feel that my husband was also rejoicing beside me at having met the Buddha. "Let's leave Dad's matters to the Buddha..."

The treasures of the soul gained through suffering.

A year passed, then two, and as my conviction in "eternal life" deepened, the wounds in my heart began to heal.

The separation from my husband was truly a painful and difficult experience, but through this experience, I was able to gain many treasures of the soul.

The sadness and suffering of others, especially the pain of losing a loved one, I would not have truly understood in a meaningful way without experiencing it myself.

I also became aware of the kindness of many people who supported me. And I began to feel that I too wanted to be a source of strength for my loved ones.

I'm glad I met you.

At one point, while reflecting on my life, I thought.

"I lost my husband, but I have people supporting me, like T-san and M-san. I have children. I have parents. I am healthy, and I have a job. If I count what I lack, I can do it with one hand, but if I count what I have been given, I would need both hands and feet. I am truly fortunate."

Looking back on the days spent with my husband, I can now say from the bottom of my heart.

"I was truly happy to marry you. When I return to the afterlife, I will live my remaining life to the fullest so that I can meet you again with a smile and receive your approval. Thank you so much. Let's meet again in heaven."