Failing in adolescent relationships and becoming a school refuser... Until I faced my heart and overcame my distrust of people 【Happy Science Believer's Experience】

A childhood friend who drifted away

When I was in the second year of middle school, my friendship with my childhood friend O-kun fell apart. Due to a trivial misunderstanding, O-kun sent harassment emails about me to other friends, and those emails quickly spread throughout the school. We were in the same class, and O-kun was the president of the student council while I was the vice president. An awkward atmosphere surrounded us as we ignored each other, but O-kun seemed to enjoy talking with friends in class and the student council as if nothing had happened. I had no place there. Some friends sympathized with me, but they didn't actively help me and were closer to O-kun than to me. Without any allies, I became increasingly isolated.
(I can't understand what everyone is really thinking... If they are such friends, I'd rather be alone.)

Unable to escape from suffering

I gradually closed my heart. I began to hate going to school, and just being in class or the student council room gave me headaches and made my chest feel tight. By the time I reached my third year of middle school, I started skipping school more frequently, and after summer vacation, I completely became a school refuser. In the mornings, my body felt heavy as lead, and I struggled to get up. I would wake up around noon every day and spend my time playing games or fiddling with the computer, isolating myself at home. My father, seeing me like that, would scold me in a strong tone, saying, "Why aren't you going to school!" I didn't rebel against him. However, I couldn't express the reasons I didn't want to go to school or my painful feelings. Amidst the frustration of my daily life, only the unpleasant memories with O-kun occasionally resurfaced.
(What will happen to me if I continue to be a recluse like this...?)
I thought I had to at least go to high school, so I attended a cram school for high school entrance exams. The teachers at the cram school were very kind, so going there wasn't too much of a burden. However, one day, an unfamiliar student from another school casually said to me at the cram school,
"H, you're really creepy."
I felt my blood run cold. With that one comment, I realized that the malicious emails O-kun had sent had spread to other schools. Everyone around me felt like an enemy, and my heart was filled with fear. I finally became unable to trust people.

Even after entering the top school in the prefecture

I entered the top high school in the prefecture, studying diligently every day. Although school life began, everyone around me was a stranger. Since that incident, I had become very bad at talking to people. Moreover, since it was a school focused on academics, my classmates seemed only interested in their own paths. I could barely manage to greet them, and by the end of the first semester, I still hadn't made a single friend with whom I could talk closely or share my true feelings.
My only goal had become "to enter high school," and after enrolling, I couldn't build new relationships or focus on studying, and eventually, I lost all motivation. As my heart became more negative, I felt the distance from my friends widening even further. Only a sense of great frustration remained, and by the end of the second semester of my first year of high school, I became a school refuser again. Even at home, I felt irritated, often throwing the TV remote or taking my anger out on objects.
(Surely, I will never escape from being a school refuser again――)
Lacking the courage to face my future, I began a life of escaping from the harsh reality by immersing myself in games again.

Cloud monk training and 'Unshakeable Mind'

One day, my mother, unable to bear seeing me like this, suggested, "There is cloud monk training at the Happy Science Temple open_in_new, why don't you give it a try?" My mother had been a believer in Happy Science since before I was born. She told me that many people had their hearts changed and their lives opened up through the cloud monk training, which involves doing chores to refine the heart. Feeling anxious about my monotonous daily life, I thought that perhaps a path might open up, so I decided to try the two-week cloud monk training.
In March of the following year, I arrived at the Head Temple, Seishinkan open_in_new (Tochigi Prefecture), and upon entering the building, I felt a gentle atmosphere that was clearly different from school. The staff and fellow cloud monks warmly welcomed me.
The life of a cloud monk involves going to bed early and waking up early, with breakfast starting at 6:30 AM. I was bewildered by the difference from my previous lifestyle and kept oversleeping every day. From 9 AM, we did chores in the temple, and in the afternoon, we had time to learn about the teachings of Happy Science and the truth of Buddhism.
However, the cloud monk training, which I approached with a dark heart, was more challenging than I had imagined. When I was about to give up, the instructor noticed and encouraged me.
"The area where H-kun did chores is very clean now."
These words lifted my spirits. I thought, "I hope the people who use this place can spend their time comfortably." As I polished the temple with the users in mind, my heart felt strangely refreshed.
I felt a sense of fulfillment and eagerly read the books on the truth of Buddhism. In particular, the words from the book 'Unshakeable Mind' open_in_new by President Okawa resonated with me.
"The will to 'constantly advance and improve' is important." I reflected on myself. I realized that during the time I was a school refuser, I had not advanced or improved at all and had not grown at all, which shocked me.
(I can't continue like this. I want to take at least one step forward!)
After finishing the cloud monk training and returning home, my mother said to me,
"About school... It seems that a Happy Science Academy open_in_new has been established in Nasu. What do you think? Would you like to give it a try? There are children who have overcome being school refusers."
She showed me the academy's pamphlet and a book titled 'Fulfill Your Noble Duty' open_in_new. The book included examples of students from the academy who had overcome bullying at their previous schools.
(The classroom scenes look fun, and it seems like I could spend fulfilling days here. They have excellent teachers too... I want to go!)
I decided to apply to the academy and started attending the Truth of Buddhism Success No. 1 cram school in preparation for the entrance exam.
*Cloud monk training: A practice where one lives at the temple, refines the heart through chores and assisting with events.
*Chores: A practice of cleaning and organizing the environment while reflecting on the heart, traditionally practiced in Buddhism.
*Truth of Buddhism: Teachings to remove negative thoughts and achieve happiness.
*'Fulfill Your Noble Duty' - Future creation education at Happy Science Academy: A book that details the educational content of Happy Science Academy.
*Truth of Buddhism Success No. 1: An educational institution by the religious corporation Happy Science for elementary to high school students.

A fresh start at Happy Science Academy

And the following year. After overcoming the challenges, I was accepted into Happy Science Academy High School Nasu Main Campus open_in_new. I had withdrawn from my previous high school at the end of my second year, so I was re-enrolling two years late. For me, those years had been days at rock bottom, but enrolling in the academy was a ray of hope. My joy and anticipation grew, and the fog in my heart began to clear little by little. The long-awaited entrance ceremony. When I stepped into the new school building, I was filled with emotion, realizing I had finally made it this far.
The friends at the academy accepted me, two years older than them, very normally. Some friends even said, "I feel a sense of security when I'm with H-kun." I was very surprised at first, as I had never been complimented face-to-face before. However, I soon realized that everyone was genuinely and purely praising each other without discrimination.
At the academy, every morning in the classroom, we read the 'Happy Science Academy Student Guidelines,' which outlines seven principles for students. Among them is a section that states, "Suppress slander, complaints, and grumbling towards others, and first strive to refine your own heart." By practicing that teaching, I began to see everyone earnestly trying to become "wonderful people," "consider others," and "be kind to others" in their own ways.
(If these are the kind of people, I can trust them. I used to think, 'I can't trust anyone. People are scary,' but here, I can surely reveal my true self, and everyone will accept me!)
I felt my heart becoming very light.

A treasure given by friends

One day, in the religious studies class, we had an activity called "Discovery of Greatness." We wrote down the strengths and wonderful qualities of our classmates on cards and handed them to them. On the card I received, it was written,
"H-kun is hardworking and has good grades, yet he is kind and funny!"
"He is very reliable, and I feel secure when he is around!"
"He seems quiet, but he has passion!"
"Thank you for teaching me! It was very helpful!"
(Everyone thought of me like this...)
I was so overwhelmed with joy that I felt tears welling up. Surrounded by the kindness of my classmates, my once frozen heart began to warm little by little. And I began to think, (Just as everyone trusted me, I want to try to trust people again from the heart!)
At that moment, the cards handed to me by everyone are still carefully kept in my desk drawer so that I can look at them anytime.

I want to have a big ambition

Seeing everyone around me striving to "improve," I also began to engage more in my classes. In the academy's ethics class, we learn about great figures who have shaped history from the perspective of the truth of Buddhism in Happy Science. For example, I came to respect Socrates during the lessons. When Socrates was sentenced to death for a crime he did not commit, despite being advised by his disciples to escape, he chose to drink the poison cup. This is something that cannot be done by someone who thinks, "Life is only for this world," and I believe he was able to do it because he believed, as stated in the writings about Socrates, "There is an afterlife, and death is not the end." I was deeply moved by the strength and courage to protect noble values even at the cost of his life and to live accordingly.
By learning about many other great figures' lives, I was able to develop a policy on how I should live in the future. I also began to gradually envision my future dreams of wanting to become a wonderful person with a big ambition.
*The writings about Socrates are 'Apology of Socrates' written by his disciple Plato.

With gratitude in my heart

When I have ideals, I become happy to study. I started to study whenever I had free time. I was able to receive the 'Okawa Award,' given to the top three students in both the first and second semesters, with a second-place grade.
"Congratulations! Your efforts have paid off!" The teachers and classmates sincerely celebrated me, and I felt even more motivated to do my best. There was a reason why I was able to continue studying with purpose after entering the academy. I repeatedly read President Okawa's book 'Aiming for True Elites' open_in_new, and there were words that deeply resonated with me.
That word was "gratitude." My parents, who have always watched over me, respected my will, and continued to support me even when I was a school refuser. Thinking of that makes me feel grateful and warms my heart. I am also sincerely grateful to President Okawa for creating the academy.
"I am grateful, and I want to repay this somehow." It was this feeling that allowed me to continue my efforts.

My heart changed and I became happy

Looking back now, I reflect that during middle school, I may have acted without considering others' feelings and hurt people. I thought, "I want to apologize to O-kun."
Then, one day――. O-kun appeared in my dream. In the dream, the two of us were reconciling. Although I couldn't actually meet O-kun and apologize, I believe my feelings reached him.
During the time I was a school refuser, I hated myself. But now, I can think, "I don't have to deny all of myself." This is because I learned at Happy Science Academy that I can believe that both myself and others are the same "children of Buddha."
Now, I want to have a broader heart, become a kinder person, and be able to understand and trust many more people. I have already stopped my distrust of people.
Through the teachings of Happy Science, my heart has changed, and I have truly become happy. I believe that if these teachings spread, the world will become even more wonderful.
To create such a world, I want to become a teacher who can be close to each student's heart in the future. And I want to convey to those who are suffering from being school refusers or distrustful of people, "No matter how hard it is, you can always escape. I hope you have the courage to take a step forward, believing in the future that lies ahead."

Excerpted message from 'The Mission of Education' (by Ryuho Okawa / Happy Science Publishing) open_in_new

Shall we find and solve the 'problem set of life'?

We are conducting life consultations.

Happy Science supports the resolution of worries and the improvement of life. If you have worries or consultations, please feel free to visit our branch. Experienced branch heads and instructors who have trained in Happy Science will listen to you. We will keep your privacy and secrets, so please feel safe to talk.

Feel free to contact your nearest branch or temple. open_in_new

'Aiming for the New Frontier' (67 minutes) open_in_new

Currently being disclosed at nearby Happy Science temples and branches.

Since its broadcast began in 1991, the radio program 'Angel's Morning Call' open_in_new has continued to be loved by many listeners.

'What is the way of education that opens the future?' open_in_new