I lost my husband to liver cancer 【Happy Science Faith Experience】

At the time I lost my husband to liver cancer, I was overwhelmed with anxiety about the future while raising four children. However, thanks to the movie "The Golden Law" open_in_new, I encountered the truth of Buddhism and was able to understand the true meaning of life. (In my 40s, female)

Encounter

It was when I was 23 years old. At that time, I was attending a cooking school in Tokyo after work. As usual, I was riding the elevator when a man in a suit spoke to me, saying, "Are you a student here? Good luck!"

"He seems like a warm person."

When I first met Mr. K, I felt an indescribable familiarity. He was an employee of the company that ran the school and worked in the same building. Whenever we met in the building, he would greet me with a smile. Later, he invited me on a date, and we started dating.

I called him "Mr. K" as if he were a senior, even though he was 15 years older than me. He was full of interesting topics and had a nurturing kindness, and I gradually became attracted to him.
After we had been dating for a while, he said to me.

"Y-chan, actually, I have a liver disease called hepatitis C."

I had heard the name of the disease before, but I didn't know the details. He explained that he contracted hepatitis C due to a blood transfusion in childhood and that there was a possibility of developing cirrhosis or liver cancer.

"It's terrible that it's because of a blood transfusion."
"It can't be helped. I have to take better care of my body than others, but thanks to that, I was able to quit drinking and smoking."

Seeing him bright and calm, I thought he was a broad-minded person. Eventually, he proposed to me. My family was hesitant due to the age difference and his illness, but I chose to marry him.

Liver cancer

After we got married, we were blessed with four children. Moreover, all of them were boys. My husband's health, which had been a concern, continued without any particular issues, and he worked normally at his company.

However, one summer, my husband, feeling unwell, was hospitalized for tests at a university hospital, where cancer was discovered. Liver cancer—the thing I feared the most became a reality, and I felt darkness enveloping me.

In February of the following year, while visiting his family home, my husband vomited blood. A varicose vein had burst. He was hospitalized at a local hospital and was told he had one year to live. While I was in despair, my husband did not show any signs of weakness.

"I will definitely live until the youngest turns 20."

Saying that, after returning to Tokyo, he tried different treatments at other hospitals. Despite losing weight and looking like a different person with sunken cheeks and a swollen belly due to ascites, he always cared for me, asking, "Aren't you tired? You don't have to watch over me all the time; take a break."

In June, my husband passed away surrounded by family. He spoke to each of our four children, saying, "I leave the children to you," before he left...

Movies I want to see

For a while after my husband's death, I was busy with the funeral and had no time to feel down. However, as I gradually settled down, it felt as if a large hole had opened in my heart, and I couldn't focus on anything.

"Oh, it's already this time... I have to prepare dinner..."

I suddenly realized I was alone, staring blankly. Whenever I saw something that reminded me of my husband, I would cry. Thinking I couldn't continue like this, I decided to resume my job in insurance, which I had taken a leave from. Additionally, since I had obtained a qualification as an acupuncturist before marriage, I started helping out at a nearby acupuncture clinic.

One day, Ms. M, who lived nearby, came to visit, saying, "I brought the children's association printouts." Ms. M's child and my third son were classmates. She had been a good person to consult with. Ms. M invited me to a movie.

"Actually, I have a movie that I really want you to see, Y-san."

The movie she invited me to was "The Golden Law." It had been a while since I had seen a movie. Thinking it might be a good distraction, I promised to go with her.

Unstoppable tears

A few days before the movie, I received a message from Ms. M saying, "I have an urgent matter and can't go with you." Ms. M apologized. I was unsure what to do, but I had the ticket in my hand. I thought it would be a waste, so I decided to go to the cinema.

After the movie started, mystical images of the universe unfolded across the screen, and I was overwhelmed by their beauty.

"Wow! What on earth is about to begin?"

Like a child, my heart raced with anticipation. The main characters, a boy and a girl, boarded a time machine and traveled back to the times of great figures like Shakyamuni, Jesus, and Moses—. I was glued to the gripping story, and the characters' lines resonated deeply within me.

In particular, I was profoundly shaken by the realization that the Buddha is being born in modern Japan and that humans are reincarnated multiple times for the growth of their souls. Tears flowed endlessly. I had never been so moved by anything in my life.

President Okawa's talk

After that, I received a call from Ms. M.

"How was the movie?"
"I was so moved that I cried the whole time. I was surprised myself."
"Really! That's great! Next time, President Ryuho Okawa open_in_new will be speaking; would you like to come, Y-san?"
"Yeah, I'll go."

What kind of place is Happy Science open_in_new, which makes such an amazing movie? I wanted to see it with my own eyes—. When I visited the branch open_in_new of Happy Science, I was surprised to find it had a very bright atmosphere, different from the image of religion I had in mind.

"Humans are spiritual beings, and that is their essence. Humans have lived as spirits for many years, and that is the true life. ... We live through changes in new human relationships and material environments, gain new experiences, and then return to the spirit world." (From Chapter 2 "The Principle of Possession" of "The Law of Mystery")

It was a gentle narrative, yet somehow resonated deeply in my heart.

"The spirit world really exists. If I return there, will I be able to meet my husband again?"

After that, my relationship with Ms. M deepened, and we began to socialize as families.

"There are many things I’m concerned about, like my eldest son's job..."

When I confided this, Ms. M's husband casually offered to meet with my eldest son for advice. For me, who was without a husband, Ms. M's family became a reliable and supportive presence.

"I never thought I could have someone I could talk to about anything. Friends in faith (friends who learn the same teachings) are wonderful."

I was filled with gratitude.

An unexpected remark

As I began to learn at Happy Science, I felt that having faith brought me peace of mind.

However, when my youngest, T, was in the fourth grade, something unexpected happened when I went to play at a classmate's house. T stuck closely to the classmate's father and wouldn't leave him. To my eyes, it looked as if he was clinging to a father figure. I felt a complex mix of emotions, thinking, "He must be lonely after all."

Furthermore, there was a time when we were watching an anime depicting the misfortunes of war at home.

“T-kun, unlike this era, there is so much food now, and it's happy, isn't it?”
“I'm not happy. Because, my dad is not here.”

I was at a loss for words, shocked by the unexpected remark.

Compared to me, who still has both parents, the children who have become single-parent so early. I learned in Happy Science that 'the bonds of couples and parents are promised in the heavenly realm before birth,' but seeing T's lonely figure made me lose confidence in whether it was really good that they were born as our children.

The bond of family resonates in my heart.

“When you take a good look at your heart in the temple, you can gain hints about life.”

Encouraged by my fellow practitioners, I decided to take the 'Guidelines for Reflection - Ten Articles' held at the Main Temple, Shoshinkan open_in_new. As I reflected on my past during the training, a conversation I had with my husband suddenly came back to me.

“It's strange, but I feel like marrying Y-chan is somehow destined. Is this what they call fate?”
“Yeah. I think so too.”

Then, we got married just as those words suggested. I remember feeling very nostalgic when I first met my husband. I felt that we were connected by an invisible bond, and my heart warmed as I sensed the depth of our connection.

Moreover, gratitude welled up for being blessed with four children. I have always been physically weak, and since middle school, I attended school while receiving treatments like IV drips and acupuncture. During my first childbirth, I even fainted due to anemia when blood was drawn for tests.

“Thinking about it, it's a miracle that I, who was so physically weak, was able to give birth to four children safely. They must be children with a strong bond. Besides, my husband was already ill before those children were born. Knowing that, they came into this world, prepared for hardship, to be born to us as a couple...”

I could picture each child's face, and it filled me with love.

“Thank you for choosing to be born to your father and mother. Mom will do her best.”

A nostalgic voice.

Also, there was a time when I took the 'Direct Message from Spirit' training at the branch. As I quietly looked into my heart according to the koan, my husband's nostalgic voice resonated in my heart.

“I was very happy. I'm always watching over you, so do your best. Thank you so much.”

I had lost a lot of weight during my hospitalization, but the image of my husband's plump smile came to my mind. “Is that you, K-san? I'm so glad to see you again—” Tears flowed.

Since then, I started talking to my children about the truth of Buddhism. Especially after receiving the family altar (Gohonzon), I always felt the gentle gaze of the Buddha, and I naturally became able to talk about faith.
I show my respect to the Gohonzon in front of T.

“T-kun, I'm sorry for making you feel lonely. But you know, your parents have 'soul parents,' so in reality, you're not lonely at all.”
“And, your dad is always watching over you from the other world.”
“Really? Dad is there!”

T looked happy.
Before long, the children also began to join their hands in prayer to the Gohonzon. My eldest son, who turned 20, has started to act as a father figure to his younger brothers. My eldest son, who got a job at the real estate company run by M-san's husband, supported the family by saying to my third son, who passed high school, “You did well. Congratulations on passing,” and buying him a celebratory gift. Our home has become filled with bright smiles compared to before.

I want to heal suffering.

Thanks to my faith, my family has settled down, and I was able to start the acupuncture work I had been preparing for at home. Every day, various patients visit, many of whom carry worries in their hearts. During treatment, one patient said.

“Since losing my husband to cancer, I've been in pain everywhere. Why do I have to go through such a tough time?”
“Actually, my husband also passed away from cancer. But I believe that he is watching over me from the other world. That makes me feel like I can do my best until we meet again. Death is not an eternal farewell.”

When I spoke about the truth, the person listened with tears streaming down her face. “There are many people who need the truth, just like I did before. I want to convey it more.” I work hard, hoping to heal the troubled patients even a little.

Faith has brought great hope to my life.
Having lost my husband and feeling anxious about my children's future, I was able to learn the true meaning of life and start walking the path to happiness through a single movie.

The movies of Happy Science hold the power to change lives. Just as it did for me, I sincerely pray that many people will find hope in their lives through movies in the future.

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