The place that saved me at my lowest—

In January 2013, while I was working part-time, I received a call from my husband around noon saying he was feeling unwell. I replied, 'Take your time to rest,' but for some reason, I couldn't shake off the feeling of unease.

When I got home around 7 PM and opened the door, I heard loud snoring.

(Something's different...!)

I hurried to my husband and called his name several times, but there was no response. When we took him to the hospital by ambulance, he was diagnosed with a cerebellar stroke, and surgery began immediately.

(Please, just let him live...)　

After praying for five hours, the surgery ended, but my husband remained unconscious.

A month and a half later, my husband finally woke up, but the joy was short-lived as he couldn't move his body and his memories of the present and past were mixed. Additionally, due to the aftereffects of the surgery, he found it difficult to retain new memories.

"We cannot expect your husband to return to work."

(What...?)

I was simply in shock, and whenever I saw older men walking in the streets, I felt anger, thinking, 'Why is that person okay?'... Financially, things were getting tough, and my heart was becoming more and more desolate.

One day, when I peeked into the building materials store run by my husband, the first floor had been renovated. It seemed that before his collapse, he had been preparing to start a takoyaki shop on the side.

(...If it's a takoyaki shop, maybe we can work together when my husband recovers.)

Determined to start an unfamiliar business to raise my middle and high school daughters, my relatives all supported me, and we hurriedly prepared for the opening. However—.

Suddenly, my relatives, who had previously had a good relationship with me, opposed the opening.

"At such a difficult time for my husband—!"

(Huh, why all of a sudden...?)

I managed to open the shop, but my heart was in tatters due to the anxiety and loneliness of not knowing what lay ahead, and the fear of my relatives.

Three months later, a childhood friend who was a believer in the Science of Happiness contacted me, worried about me.

"T-chan, you should take a little break. Let's go to Osaka for a 1-night, 2-day trip."

"Osaka? Where are we going?"

The place my childhood friend took me to was the Osaka Seishinkan open_in_new, a training facility of the Science of Happiness. At that time, I was also a believer in the Science of Happiness, but I wasn't active and didn't know that there was a large facility.

When I first stepped into the chapel—.

(It's warm...)

Is this what they call the divine light? In a space different from everyday life, I felt my body being enveloped in warmth. And for some reason, tears flowed uncontrollably.

After a while, as I calmed my heart in the chapel, my heart and body, which had been tightly wound up with anxiety and fear, began to loosen.

(I want to cling to this faith—)

Looking up at the statue of El Cantare in the chapel*, I thought from the bottom of my heart, 'I will believe in the Lord.'

That day, I spent a quiet time at the Osaka Seishinkan, and the next day, I contacted T.K., who always delivered the Science of Happiness' monthly magazine open_in_new to me, and talked about what happened after my husband collapsed.

K-san listened to me attentively, and from that day on, I decided to attend the local branch open_in_new.

*The statue of El Cantare... The main object of worship symbolizing El Cantare, the supreme deity of Earth in the Science of Happiness.

The branch manager at the time said, 'You can come to the branch anytime to pray,' so every morning after visiting my husband, I would stop by the branch to pray before heading to the shop. When I joined my hands in the chapel, the sadness and pain deep within my heart would burst forth, but at the same time, I felt the Lord's light shining into my heart.

(...This will be okay)

The five minutes of prayer every morning became an important time to stabilize my wavering heart.

K-san prayed with me every Tuesday, listened to what happened the previous week, and not only supported me emotionally but also offered advice on work... Additionally, every day, we read Ryuho Okawa's open_in_new scriptures and exchanged thoughts via email, helping each other progress in our study of the truth of Buddhism.

For me, the teachings of the Science of Happiness had an 'expansion of teachings' that other religions did not have, and I felt that the more I learned, the more positive my thinking became.

The friends at the branch (※) warmly welcomed me, showed me President Okawa's Dharma talks, and meditated together to receive the Lord's light. Through continuing my faith life like this, I learned the 'spiritual worldview' that humans are reincarnated in this world and the next, and that suffering and difficulties are whetstones for polishing the soul.

(There is meaning even in the current suffering)

I gradually began to gain new perspectives.

※Dharma friends: Companions who learn the same teachings and can discuss their studies.

One day, about three months later, K-san brought a notebook.

“T-chan, try writing down all the painful and sad feelings that are stuck inside your heart in this notebook.”

“Eh! I absolutely don't want to do that!”

I had read in a self-help book long ago that "if you express bad words, they will come true," so I tried not to say negative words.

“But, you know, T-chan. I think it would be good to let it out once instead of keeping it all inside.”

Reluctantly, I took the notebook home and tried writing in it. Before I knew it, it was filled with things like, "Why do I have to go through such terrible things?" and "I want to quit everything."

(I was thinking such things—)

Anger, jealousy, and the desire for validation became exposed, and I almost fell into self-loathing. However, even at such times, K-san encouraged me positively, saying, "It's okay to accept the unpleasant parts of yourself first, and then think about how to change yourself."

As I continued to reflect using the notebook, I realized something.

Since my relatives are all accomplished people, I felt pressured to be a "good wife," and I was just putting on a facade, tying myself up.

(I should stop deceiving myself.)

Then, as I continued to "accept and face" the inferiority complex and unpleasant parts deep within my heart, I became able to consider the feelings of others as well. Gradually, I began to understand the emotions of my relatives who opposed the opening.

(Shin-chan must have been going through the same pain as I was...)

As I pondered, memories of my relatives being kind to me and coming to the store despite their opposition came to mind.

(They were really worried about me...)

A deep sense of gratitude arose, and my fear disappeared. Then, in response, my relationship with my relatives harmonized, and I became able to open my heart and speak honestly.

As my heart calmed through religious practice, strangely, my husband also began to work hard on his rehabilitation. Now he can walk by himself, and his memory is gradually improving, allowing him to visit the store.

Thanks to my husband's encouragement, the store has been able to continue smoothly even during the COVID-19 pandemic and has become a place for community interaction.

I believe the experiences since my husband collapsed were necessary to strengthen myself, and I feel they taught me that "the happiness of the heart" is the most important thing.

If I hadn't grasped this faith, I would still be suffering. I am truly grateful to Lord El Cantare, who saved me, and to all my friends who always support me. Now it's my turn to deliver the Lord's light to many people.