The story of a man who overcame jealousy and fulfilled his dreams

Finally becoming an illustrator...

In the autumn of 1988. At the age of 24, I left the illustrator I was apprenticed to and became independent as a freelancer. I was half excited about finally becoming the illustrator I had dreamed of since high school, and half anxious about whether I could make a living from this work, but I received a job through a friend's introduction and was able to make a decent start.

Soon after that. While reading a magazine that featured the works of professional illustrators during a break from work, I suddenly noticed a certain illustration.

Realism that surpasses photography, and outstanding depiction. Moreover, the author was younger than me.

(He's younger than me, yet so good at drawing and successful...)

I felt a sense of discomfort in my chest. As I turned the pages of the magazine, I found an illustrator who was gaining popularity with unique illustrations.

(No matter how I look at it, I'm better, so why is this person successful? It's frustrating—)

Although their style was different from mine, just the fact that they were successful made me feel jealous, and I couldn't help but want to criticize them.

Not wanting to experience bitter feelings, I gradually began to avoid looking at others' works.

However, as soon as I stepped outside my house, I was surrounded by the works of illustrators in train advertisements and book covers, which immediately caught my eye.
Every time I saw them, my heart was shaken.

Is the object of my jealousy 'my ideal self'?

While struggling with jealousy, I continued to work calmly, and one day, two years later.

"Hey, M-kun. Want to read this?"

A friend recommended me Ryuho Okawa's open_in_new book 'The Spirit of Picasso' (※1) and 'The Law of the Sun' open_in_new 'The Law of Gold' open_in_new 'The Law of Eternity' open_in_new (※2). I was impressed by the deep teachings of love and the workings of the spiritual world discussed in them, and I wanted to learn more about these teachings, so I converted to Happy Science. I began studying the scriptures and attending Grand Lectures open_in_new by President Okawa.

Then, in February 1993, I attended President Okawa's grand lecture 'Love, Infinity' (※3) at Yokohama Arena. There, unexpectedly, I was given an answer to the jealousy I had been struggling with.

"What is the way to overcome jealousy? It is the heart of blessing. The object of your jealousy is actually nothing other than your own ideal self."

"The person you idealize should be respected and affirmed. Only by thinking, 'I want to be like that too,' can you gradually approach that ideal. However, from the moment jealousy begins, you can no longer approach it and instead move further away."

Hearing these words, I was taken aback.

(I see, the person I feel jealous of is 'my ideal self'—. If I keep being jealous of popular authors, I will distance myself from them. I can't let this continue...)

Furthermore, I was deeply impressed by the teaching that 'the root of jealousy lies in feelings of inferiority.'

After listening to that day's lecture, I understood that 'unless I overcome my feelings of inferiority, jealousy will not disappear. And it takes effort to overcome feelings of inferiority and jealousy.' I vowed in my heart to change myself by 'honestly acknowledging the achievements of those I had been jealous of, learning from them, and making an effort.'

※1: 'The Spirit of Picasso' is currently included in 'The Complete Works of Ryuho Okawa' Volumes 38 and 39 (both authored by Ryuho Okawa, published by Happy Science).
※2: 'The Law of the Sun', 'The Law of Gold', and 'The Law of Eternity' are the basic trilogy that outlines the teachings of Happy Science (all authored by Ryuho Okawa, published by Happy Science).
※3: This sermon is included in the book 'Love, Infinity' (authored by Ryuho Okawa, published by Happy Science).

Blessing and effort combined

After that, I bought magazines featuring popular authors' illustrations and continued my research. During breaks from work, I thoroughly thought about 'what efforts do skilled artists make?' and 'what do I lack?' and tried to emulate their excellent techniques.

However, my jealousy did not disappear immediately, and it was not easy to bless others. Whenever I saw successful illustrators, feelings of jealousy would inevitably arise.

(Ah, it's still frustrating—)

Each time, I made an effort to 'switch jealousy to blessing.'

(They're so successful, it's amazing)

At first, my heart couldn't keep up, and many times it was just 'superficial' blessing, but as I continued to keep the two characters of 'blessing' in mind, my heart gradually began to change.

For example, towards the famous illustrator A, I thought,

(I'm truly in awe of their skill. It's because I see this person's back that I can grow too. I'm grateful—)

Also, towards B, who is popular for their unique illustrations and compensates for their lack of drawing skill with negotiation skills, I thought,

(They're knowledgeable and charming as a person, which is why they're successful. I should learn from B about negotiation skills.)

I began to think this way.

Furthermore, regarding production tools, many popular authors use computers and painting software, so I decided to challenge myself as well. Until then, I had been painting with acrylic paints and brushes, feeling resentful about those who were using new tools.

(They're just getting into new tools...)

But I decided to let go of that stubbornness.

At that time, I was already in my mid-40s and felt anxious about whether I could start learning now, but I continued to learn how to use them from scratch and managed to master them. Then, when I applied for an illustration contest that was being held at that time, I was surprised to win second place.

(I'm glad I took the challenge—)

The joy of expanding my work

As I continued those efforts, I was offered advertising work from major companies and was able to hold solo exhibitions in Ginza and Ebisu, expanding the scope of my work. Furthermore, I was also fortunate enough to have the opportunity to illustrate the cover of President Okawa's book.
It was an extremely honorable thing for me as an illustrator.

(May Lord El Cantare and everyone who reads this book be pleased—)

With that wish in mind, I poured all the experience and skills I had cultivated into my work. It was truly a dreamlike event.

After that, there were also opportunities for work overseas. I received an invitation from a renowned graphic designer I had been working with for over 20 years to participate in an exhibition in England.

“M-kun. Next time, we will hold the opening exhibition at the Design Museum in London, but could you help me?”

I gladly accepted the job and poured my heart into the drawings.

Previously, I often did small jobs that went unnoticed, so I was filled with joy and gratitude as my opportunities expanded even overseas.

As I gradually built up my achievements step by step, I found peace in my heart and realized that I hardly felt jealousy towards other illustrators anymore. I think it took me 15 years to naturally be able to bless others.

Thanks to the teachings of President Okawa, I have become free from the suffering of jealousy and can continue my beloved work in art with a happy heart. I realized that by striving with a feeling of 'blessing', my heart is polished and my skills improve.

With gratitude for the guidance of Lord El Cantare, my mentors who have helped me, my colleagues who provide good stimulation, and the clients who give me work— I want to create wonderful works that can be left for future generations.　　　

'Awakening to the Truth' P.116 open_in_new (by Ryuho Okawa / Happy Science Publishing)

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'Becoming an Adult' Lecture open_in_new

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Since its broadcast began in 1991, the radio program 'Angel's Morning Call' open_in_new has continued to be loved by many listeners.

Inferiority Complex and Jealousy open_in_new

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