Recovery from School Refusal - Bullying - Encountering Treasures at "Never Mind" [Personal Experience]

Aug. 31, 2016（Last Update: June 13, 2026）

Encountering Treasures at "Never Mind"

T-kun, who was bullied in elementary and middle school, finally became a school refuser right after entering high school. What saved him from the brink of despair was the "Never Mind" school for school refusers by Happy Science. I will share my experience of finding hope in life through Never Mind.
(T.M, Tokyo, Male, Reprinted and edited from "The Evangel" No. 191)

When the world that was pitch dark shines brightly

Something I couldn't tell anyone

I was weak and shy, and I had been bullied since kindergarten. The bullying intensified when I was in the 4th grade of elementary school. I was targeted by S-kun, the leader of a delinquent group, and was forcibly made to join his group.
"I don't like that guy, go hit him!"
S-kun always gave me unreasonable orders. Of course, I never hit anyone, but if I disobeyed his orders, I would sometimes be subjected to violence, so I was always on edge. Seeing me like that, everyone else seemed to think, "He's weak," and I became a target for bullying. I was called terrible nicknames, and verbal bullying like "Stay away" and "You smell" happened almost every day. Sometimes I was held down by a few people and hit, or my backpack was thrown into the toilet. But I couldn't tell my parents or teachers that I was being bullied at school. I didn't want to make my mother sad. When I came home injured from being hit at school, I would lie and say, "I was playing with ○○kun and fell," and at home, I would always mess around with my younger brother, continuing to play the role of the "bright character."

Hiding my face with my bangs

Because I was hiding the bullying, I had no choice but to go to school, even if I didn't want to. I was terrible at studying. With the stress from bullying, I was always zoning out during class. Naturally, my grades were in the worst state, close to all 1s. The bullying from S-kun and a few others continued until the 6th grade, and I became more and more withdrawn. I was afraid to make eye contact with people, so I grew my bangs long to hide my face, and my appearance became increasingly dark. The only joy for me was playing my favorite Gundam games. The time spent with my family and the time spent playing games at home were the only peaceful moments where I wasn't harmed by anyone. Thus, my gray elementary school days passed by, empty and meaningless.

Bullying continued in middle school

I researched the middle school that S-kun would attend and enrolled in a different local middle school. I tried to remain as quiet as possible so that I wouldn't be bullied again, but that backfired, and I gradually became isolated in class, receiving verbal abuse like, "Your face is gross." There was even a time when a classmate forwarded a message to my phone saying, "Isn't that guy annoying?" When I replied, "I don't think so," I was called out and hit. I was also targeted by a group of 6 or 7 girls.
"Why don't you talk? You're gross."
"Make sure to clean where you touched. It's dirty!"
I was subjected to such insults. Bullying continued daily, and I gradually developed severe social anxiety, to the point where I could only respond with "yes" or "no" when someone spoke to me. School became so unbearable that I faked being sick to leave early, spending time playing games at home or sitting alone by the river, zoning out. Whenever I saw scenes of fun school life in TV dramas, I felt very depressed. I was no good at studying or sports. My personality was dark, and I couldn't even talk to people normally. I had no friends with whom I could open my heart, and I had no choice but to endure it all alone.

Finally became a school refuser

Without any dreams or hopes, I did enroll in high school, but seeing a student with a bad attitude in my class filled me with fear (Oh no, I'm going to be bullied again!). In the end, I became a school refuser in less than a week after enrolling. However, even at home, I had no motivation to do anything. I couldn't even muster the energy to play my favorite games. It felt like I was alive but dead.
(Am I going to become a recluse and a NEET like this...? Am I going to fall as low as I can go...?)
I felt like my chest was going to burst from anxiety about the future.

First time at "Never Mind"

My worried mother went to consult at the Happy Science branch open_in_new she believed in.
"I heard there's a school called 'Never Mind' that supports school refusers at Happy Science. Want to check it out?"
When I was young, I had gone to branches and lectures with my mother, but I didn't know much about Happy Science. However, thinking (I can't stay like this), I decided to go with my mother to visit. Following her in, I cautiously entered the room... The interior of Never Mind was bright, with sunlight streaming in. A few students were happily playing cards and chatting, relaxing.
"'Never Mind' means 'It's okay not to worry.' President Ryuho Okawa open_in_new and Lord El Cantare open_in_new have given us the message that it's okay not to worry even if you're a school refuser," explained a staff member while guiding us through the rooms. I didn't speak a word that day, but the peaceful and relaxed atmosphere of Never Mind felt very comforting to me, and I thought, "Maybe I'll be okay here." After leaving Never, I told my mother that I wanted to attend. Seeing my mother's relieved smile made me feel at ease too.

Touched by the kindness of friends

Since then, I started attending Never Mind three times a week on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. There were 7 to 8 students from elementary to high school attending Never. As long as it wasn't violent, we could bring in games. During "self-improvement time," we studied individually, but we could also read books. In the evening, volunteers would make rice balls and miso soup for us, and we all gathered around the table to eat. In the warm and homely atmosphere of Never, I soon became able to talk normally with everyone. However, what came out of my mouth was only my past unhappy experiences. Everyone listened with genuine concern, saying, "That must have been tough." Some even listened with tears in their eyes.
(I didn't know there were such kind kids... Maybe it's because they have faith.)
In Happy Science, we learn that the first thing is "the love that gives." It's a teaching to give love to others and be kind without expecting anything in return. Everyone at Never was genuinely practicing "the love that gives." I was filled with joy at being able to share the mental suffering I had been carrying alone for the first time with someone else. Moreover, staff member T always praised me.
"You are considerate and wonderful," "You are really kind."
For someone like me, who had no confidence in anything, such heartfelt words were incredibly encouraging. After a few weeks, my closed heart began to thaw little by little.

Irreplaceable friends

Among the students at Never, there was one very mysterious child. He sat in a corner of the room in a 'sitting position' without talking to anyone, burying his face in his knees. He was H-kun, who was the same age as me. H-kun lived nearby, and we always went home together. Although we exchanged mobile addresses, whenever I tried to talk to him, he would quickly put on his earphones. We both originally had a hard time with communication, and it was difficult to find an opportunity to talk. One day, on the subway ride home from Never, I casually glanced at the image he was looking at, and it was an anime of Gundam. I tapped H-kun on the shoulder and said,
"You're watching Gundam. I've been watching Gundam for a long time too."
"Oh really? Which one have you seen?"
"All of them."
"I've seen all of them too."
That was the moment H-kun opened the lock to his heart for the first time. After parting from H-kun that day, I emailed him, saying, "Let's talk more about each other." We shared our painful experiences at school. I talked about how hard it was to be insulted by a group of girls and how hurt I was when they mocked my face. H-kun also shared how he was disliked by a girl and ended up isolating himself in class. Eventually, H-kun became an irreplaceable presence for me.

Let's envision a bright self

At Never, there was always a time for "faith education." We learned about the faith of Happy Science and discussed it together.
"Everyone is a 'child of Buddha.' We are all wonderful beings. Just because you became a school refuser doesn't mean you're a bad person. Everyone who has experienced various hardships has gained that much learning, so rather, you are a 'soul elite.'"
Staff member T always encouraged us like that. He also taught us, "Lord El Cantare is always watching over everyone, even in times of hardship and sadness. The Lord loves everyone and will never abandon them."
(Even someone like me is loved by the Lord...?)
To be honest, at that time, I couldn't feel that I was loved by the Lord. In a book recommended to me at that time called 'The Syndrome of Not Being Able to Be Happy,' it was written:
"No matter how much you stare at a miserable self-image, it will never get better. It's important to change the fundamental way of thinking and make your self-image shine."
(That's certainly true...) I had no qualifications to be loved by the Lord or anyone else; I was a lonely, worthless person... That was my self-image. I decided to change that negative self-image into a bright and positive one.

Exam for Happy Science Academy

About two months after I started attending Never, one day, T showed me a pamphlet for the Happy Science Academy open_in_new. The Happy Science Academy is a co-educational, full boarding middle and high school located in the vast nature of Nasu, Tochigi Prefecture. I thought, "If all the kids share the same faith, there won't be any bullying, and it looks fun," and my heart raced. However, even if I were to redo the high school entrance exam, it was too high a hurdle for me, who had hardly studied in elementary and middle school. When I consulted my mother, she said, "It's good to have a goal and work hard, so why not give it a try?" I learned that two girls in the 3rd year of middle school at Never, along with H-kun, were also hoping to take the academy entrance exam, and I decided to take the exam too. Both H-kun and I were retaking a year to take the exam. During the summer vacation, I completed all the middle school English material, and I began to understand English, which I had hardly understood before, and my grades improved.
(I can do it if I try!)
That became a great confidence boost for me. The four of us continued to study hard for the Happy Science Academy entrance exam.

As companions who can talk about faith

For the first time, I had a goal and the presence of companions to encourage each other. I felt my heart becoming brighter and more energetic day by day. However, perhaps due to past trauma, sometimes feelings of doubt about my companions would arise.
(I wonder if everyone at Never really thinks I'm dark...?)
When I sent an email and didn't get an immediate reply, I would feel anxious, thinking (I must be disliked after all). H-kun also confided in me, saying, "When a girl from Never greets me, I don't know how to respond. I still can't trust girls..."
"I'm the same. But let's both learn the teachings of the Dharma (the teachings of Happy Science) more seriously and become people who can truly believe in the Lord and trust others."
What initially seemed like a "mutual licking of wounds" between us gradually transformed into a relationship where we could discuss our faith as "Dharma friends."

Kindness of friends

The new year began, and the entrance exam was finally here. Although I did my best, the result was a failure. In the end, only H-kun among the four of us passed.
"Congratulations! H-kun, your effort and ability were outstanding!"
We all sincerely celebrated H-kun's success. Then, in March after the exam, when we had a two-night, three-day training session with everyone from Never Mind at the Happy Science Hakone Seika open_in_new, there was a project called "Finding the Good Points of ○○san." We were given sheets of paper to write down each person's good points.
"Always kind and seriously listens to others' worries."
"It's wonderful how you act with others in mind rather than yourself."
"It's amazing how you can clearly state what's right! You have the qualities of a leader!"
Everyone wrote my strengths like that.
(I didn't know they thought so highly of me...)
I was so happy that my heart warmed, and tears flowed. I had unknowingly become a kind of counselor among the people at Never.

The world looked bright

(What changed me was the power of faith and the truth of the Dharma. By sharing this experience, I can make many people happy. Even someone like me can be of help to others!)
At the end of the training, there was a time to present our "realizations." When asked, "Does anyone want to present?" I raised my hand first.
"I want to become a counselor in the future and listen to and help children who are struggling with bullying and school refusal like I did."
Applause erupted. At that moment, I was able to clearly envision my future dream for the first time. From the next day, the world looked completely different. The dim, dark, and cold winter scenery transformed into a bright, shining spring landscape with the sun shining brightly.

What I want to convey

After that, I attended a correspondence high school while studying for university entrance exams and volunteering at Never Mind. In between, I go to the Happy Science seika open_in_new to open books and study the truth of the Dharma. My days are now fulfilling in a way I never thought possible. My past was dark, painful, and difficult. I had lost all confidence and my heart was troubled. The reason I was able to recover from rock bottom was that I received so much love from everyone at Never. Through Never, I encountered faith and realized, "I was loved by my soul parent, Lord El Cantare!" At school, I had no opportunities to shine. However, the Lord never abandoned me and provided me with a place to thrive at Never Mind. What I want to convey now is that "Lord El Cantare is always watching over and loving everyone." I believe that children suffering from bullying and school refusal are truly struggling and lonely. I want to become someone who can be a source of strength for all those children. I sincerely wish for that. And I want to tell everyone who is suffering, "It's okay, you are not alone."

Breaking away from self-pity

Excerpt from 'Indomitable Spirit' (by Ryuho Okawa / Happy Science Publishing) open_in_new

You can't be happy with self-pity

People who think, "I feel sorry for myself" and love themselves will never become rich and wonderful. Many people have a tendency to find some trigger to push themselves into a pitiful position, elevating themselves to the protagonist of a tragedy and licking their wounds, but they need to realize that "you can never be happy with self-pity."

The sun will rise again

In the end, the way to make the sun rise again is not to dwell too much on the night. You must know that "the night will pass." In other words, you must quickly break away from feelings of self-pity. You need to discard the thought of "I am someone who has been abandoned by this world" as soon as possible. You must have the awareness that "I am also a wonderful child of Buddha" and live supported by that awareness, and it is essential to keep moving forward.
Therefore, it is important not to present yourself as weak. And never indulge in self-pity; simply walk your royal road. Here lies the secret to making the sun rise again.

Shall we find and solve the "problem set of life"?

We are conducting life consultations

Happy Science supports the resolution of worries and the improvement of life. If you have worries or consultations, please feel free to visit our branch. Experienced branch managers and instructors who have trained at Happy Science will listen to you. We will keep your privacy and secrets, so please feel safe to talk.