Power Harassment and Sexual Harassment - The Suffering Caused by Differences in Thinking Between Men and Women

For male employees who have been working for twenty or thirty years, particularly middle-aged managers, the feelings they had when they joined the company are quite different from how they feel now, yet they often do not realize this difference. I believe many of them do not know what to do and end up acting clumsily.

If a new male employee were to pat someone on the shoulder and say, "Hey, how are you?" it would be fine, but if a female employee does the same, it can become severe sexual harassment. Additionally, if you show concern for a female employee and ask, "So, have you gotten a boyfriend recently?" she might get angry and turn red, saying, "That was so inappropriate."

Of course, there may be cases of outright sexual harassment, but I think that is a separate issue. However, please acknowledge as a primary premise that men and women feel things differently.

(From 'How to Capture Happiness' open_in_new)

Men often do not see others correctly. What is incorrect about their perception is that they have preconceived notions.

The most common preconceived notion is the idea of 'enemy or ally.' When looking at people, they first classify them based on whether they are 'an enemy or an ally.' They then harass those classified as enemies in various ways. Conversely, they form friendly clubs with those classified as allies, engaging in activities like golf or mahjong.

In this way, men first consider whether someone is 'disadvantageous or advantageous' to them.

Furthermore, they also classify people who are friendly with those they dislike as enemies and draw a line. They might think, 'I won't leak information to that person' or tell their boss, 'He is doing such things,' trying to bring that person down.

(From 'I'm Fine' open_in_new)

If the founder and president of a company is someone who has struggled hard to rise through the ranks, they may find it intolerable to see someone who has lived a smooth life. As the founder builds the company through hardship, it grows from a small business to a large company with thousands or tens of thousands of employees, and people considered 'elites' in society start to join.

In this context, the unconscious sabotage that emerges is the 'imposition of beliefs.' They may think, 'Unless one has risen through the ranks, they cannot understand the truth. They cannot do the job,' leading to the exclusion of those who seem to have it easy. They become unable to tolerate those who navigate life smoothly.

(From 'The True Teachings of the Eightfold Path' open_in_new)

There are likely women among long-serving office workers and unmarried women who engage in such behavior. Of course, there are also kind-hearted and capable individuals, but some may unconsciously start to sabotage younger people. They might interfere with young women's marriages or bully young men.

When interfering with young women's marriages, they might say things like, 'You're too frivolous,' 'Your makeup is too much,' 'You have no intention of working,' or 'You're just here for fun.' They may also bully or interfere with men by saying, 'You're chasing girls instead of working.' Such actions are often done unconsciously, driven by a desire to sabotage others' happiness.

All of this is a result of self-justification and the solidification of pride. It stems from overlooking the fact that they are loved by deities or many people.

Even though they want to receive more love, they cannot tolerate seeing others receive love. They then engage in various actions, both overt and covert, to undermine others.

(From 'The True Teachings of the Eightfold Path' open_in_new)

The female heart is extremely delicate. The way it sways is incomparable to that of men. It sways in an incredibly subtle manner.

Therefore, even things that men might think are trivial can become significant concerns for women. Women are more susceptible to emotional pain. A man might brush off harsh words by saying, 'That's just your opinion,' but many women will hold onto a comment like, 'You know what you are...' for five or ten years. This indicates how sensitive their hearts are.

Thus, one must choose words carefully; for example, even if I am discussing general theories about women, a woman might think, 'She must be talking about me.' If I say, 'Such women are dangerous,' she might think, 'Is she talking about me?' Because of this sensitivity, women have often been protected within the home for many years.

However, as more women are entering society, removing the protective barrier of home, this sensitivity makes them more susceptible to various emotional toxins.

(From 'Discovery of Destiny' open_in_new)

Some people tend to take others' words very literally.

When someone says something harsh, they take it straight to heart and hold onto it for a long time, leading to situations like, 'What? You're still thinking about that?' The speaker may have expressed their feelings candidly at that moment and forgotten about it the next day, while the listener continues to ponder it for years.

This may be described as a serious personality, but it can also be seen as a persistent one. This persistence can make one prone to becoming a ghost after death, so it is wise to be cautious. To avoid becoming a ghost, a refreshing personality is required. There are not many refreshing ghosts.

(From 'The Equation of Hell' open_in_new)

Currently, there are very complex issues among women. While there is a strong desire to be treated the same as men, there is also a desire to be treated differently.

For men working in the same environment, it is often unclear how to navigate this differentiation. They may not understand whether women want to be treated the same as men or not, which aspects they want to be treated the same, and which they do not. This leads to significant confusion.

For this reason, I believe we are still in a transitional period where a solid culture has not yet formed. During such times, it is also important for women to create an atmosphere where they express, 'We want to be treated this way.'

In doing so, they may have to make various difficult requests, such as, 'I want to be treated the same in terms of promotions or career advancement. However, I want the way I am addressed and treated to be completely different from how men are treated.' Such requests may be challenging. However, you may not realize it, but these requests could be manifestations of other issues you are facing.

Perhaps your dissatisfaction with your parents or your partner is merely taking a different form in the workplace. Please keep this in mind.

In any case, we are entering an era where 70% to 80% of women are working in the workplace. It is a very challenging time. In this context, it is becoming increasingly unclear what the right direction truly is.

However, what I want to emphasize is that if only people who demand others to do things for them emerge, society will only become more difficult. Instead, if there are more individuals who constantly think, 'What can I do?' whether they are men or women, I believe we can create a joyful society where everyone can help each other.

Please cultivate the habit of not becoming someone who only asserts what they want others to do, but rather someone who thinks about how they can contribute or what they can do.

(From 'How to Capture Happiness' open_in_new)

From the popular radio program of Happy Science, 'Angel's Morning Call' open_in_new (National Network + Hawaii KZOO), we introduce programs from past broadcasts that we hope you will listen to now. (You can listen to them in audio format)

(1) 'Tips for Living Calmly and Authentically!' open_in_new [Episode 1303]
(2) 'Healing the Mind and Body with the Light of Buddha' open_in_new [Episode 1415]
(3) 'What to Do About That Irritating Person?' open_in_new [Episode 1087]