Ways to Recover from Exam Failures

When exam season arrives, I think many mothers are preoccupied with their children's exams.

The desire of a mother to 'get her child into a good school,' or the child's own desire to 'pass a good school,' is not wrong.

Among human's basic desires is the feeling of wanting to 'express oneself' and 'manifest oneself.' This is a feeling that seeks the importance of the self.

The desire to become a more important person itself should not be denied. The feelings of 'wanting to stand out' and 'wanting to be recognized by others' should not be dismissed.

If we completely deny this, humanity itself would move in groups like worker bees or army ants, without any individuality.

The desire to become a leader itself is very beneficial for the advancement of human society. Having such desires is not a problem.

However, as a result, there are times when things do not go as one wishes, and suffering may arise at that time.

So, let's consider what mindset a mother should have in preparation for her child's exam not going well. To do this, it is necessary to understand the meaning of the exam itself. What is the purpose of entrance exams?

In fact, entrance exams are meant to measure 'how much one has learned within a certain period.' Entrance exams serve as a yardstick for how much study can be done within a given timeframe.

The results of the exam do not necessarily correlate directly with intelligence, but in a sense, they serve to measure the intelligence level of young children, or in other words, 'to what extent can they perform if trained.'

However, I think it is problematic to place too much emphasis solely on academic ability. Of course, intelligence is included among the basic human talents, but it is not everything.

There are various qualities of sensitivity, intelligence, reason, and enlightenment, and the totality of these should be measured for human development.

That said, sensitivity is usually not something that can be measured. It can be measured in artistic aspects, but it is difficult to measure in paper tests.

Reason can be measured to some extent. However, reason is something that cannot be fully expressed until one reaches a certain level of adulthood. Only after acquiring basic common sense can reason be tested in various judgments. In childhood, reason is not expressed much.

Moreover, the most important enlightenment for those studying religion should not be demanded of children, nor is it something that emerges through school education. The enlightenment, which is the most important thing for the human soul, is not necessarily something that accompanies the exam itself.

Parents should understand that entrance exams are primarily focused on intelligence. However, it is also true that intelligence has great power in terms of being useful in society. Thus, a balanced perspective must be maintained.

In modern society, it is also true that intelligence is very useful. Because the modern era is an information society, the part related to information processing, which is intelligence, is very important.

Therefore, while observing in which areas your child is excelling and in which areas they are lagging, you should always think about how to help your child become the best person possible overall.

There are many intelligent people who tend to lack self-reflection, and there are also those who rush forward driven by their desire for self-assertion.

However, even if one is not that intelligent, if they can constantly reflect and purify their heart, they may unknowingly deepen their enlightenment and, after ten or twenty years in society, become a person rich in insight and depth.

Winners and losers in life are not determined solely by the success or failure of exams. There may be times when one has been submerged like groundwater for a certain period and, when they burst forth somewhere, they have become a completely different person.

(From 'The Way to Happiness' open_in_new)

In reality, I think there will be times when one passes and fails, but all of that is just a part of life experience, so exams are not something that ultimately determines life or death. Even after entering university, life varies from person to person, and it is different after graduation as well. It is not the case that one becomes more important just because they attended a prestigious university.

In companies, for example, after a few years of employment, when abilities are comparable to peers, it may be that those from universities with high deviation values are promoted simply because it looks better.

However, general ability assessment is extremely difficult, so outside of the time of hiring, it is safe to say that academic background is hardly effective. After all, society often judges based on achievements.

So please believe that abilities not assessed by exams may emerge elsewhere. I think it is good to think that way.

There are lessons to be learned from success, but there are also many lessons to be learned from failure. When you fail, think about the cause and use it for learning in the next step.

Ultimately, the school you advance to may not be the one you desired, but I want you to know that this may lead to success in the future.

For example, university researchers often become graduates of that school. In many cases, those who actually aimed for higher-ranked schools but ended up at that university often become researchers. It may just be that an excellent person happened to enter. There are also many cases where such people did not become researchers when they entered the university they had hoped for.

It is good to know that 'what opens the way is still unknown.'

(From 'The Miracle Path to Entrance Exams' open_in_new)

For those currently in the 'exam war,' I think it is a tough situation.

However, compared to people in countries where education is not sufficiently provided, it can be said that people in countries like Japan, where many opportunities for study are available, are in a very fortunate position. I hope you can also hold that perspective.

Moreover, current schools are divided into many tiers based on deviation values, so for examinees, there will be successes and failures in entrance exam results. However, entering a school with a high deviation value does not necessarily mean success, and entering a low deviation school does not necessarily mean failure.

For example, some point out that 'as the deviation value of the alma mater increases, the suicide rate also tends to increase.'

Regarding the issue of suicide, Happy Science has been engaged in campaigns calling for suicide prevention for several years, but can we say that 'those at the bottom of life commit suicide, while those who are doing well do not'? Not necessarily. There are many cases where 'those who were doing relatively well commit suicide when they face setbacks.'

This story goes back more than thirty years, but I still remember the story I heard when I had just entered the University of Tokyo.

A professor said in a large classroom, 'Every year, at least one person from the Literature I course commits suicide. However, no one from the Literature II course commits suicide.' Literature I refers to the first category of the humanities, which is a course aimed at bureaucrats and legal professionals, while Literature II refers to the second category, which is a course where many graduates go on to work in companies.

The professor said, 'In Literature I, people who were the best in their local areas gather from all over the country, so those who cannot tolerate not being the best may sometimes commit suicide due to their inability to endure setbacks. However, that way of thinking is wrong, so be careful.'

It is natural that when gathering only the best people from the local area, there will be rankings from first to last. However, there are people who cannot accept that and end up committing suicide.

Those who had a little bit of a mindset of giving up beforehand tend to be stronger in the face of setbacks, while those who think 'I cannot forgive unless I am recognized as the best' may easily end up dead.

Those who succeed early in life often find it difficult when their path begins to close off later on. They think, "I can't accept it unless my life continues to open up one after another," and when things don't go well, they impulsively commit suicide.

On the other hand, those who enter schools with relatively low deviation scores tend to give up fairly early and do not have high expectations for themselves. If they think, "I'm not that great" in the early stages of life, they are less likely to die easily. When such people's lives eventually open up, everyone is surprised, but in reality, there are people who, even if they enter schools with low deviation scores, start to do well at some point in their lives.

(From 'The Law of Courage' open_in_new)

As a result of the entrance exams, there are times when your child passes and times when they do not, but if they pass, it means their efforts have been fairly evaluated, so you should genuinely rejoice and guide them to take that as courage and continue to strive humbly.

Moreover, even if they do not pass, it is necessary to teach them that "not everything in life is decided at this point. Life is a long, long marathon." You can simply tell your child, "Even if you spend a year as a ronin, living one more year is enough."

Even if you pass early, if you die young, that's the end of it. Think to yourself, "If I spend two years as a ronin, I just need to live two more years. I will live for two more years, even if I have to cling to a rock," and consider how to make up for the time lost during your ronin period by living longer.

If your child becomes a ronin, you can teach them, "You just need to live one more year. If you keep your body healthy, exercise well, and study moderately, you can live for about a year longer," and it will likely turn out that way.

For example, if you only study and neglect your health, you might die after entering university. I know someone who studied hard to get into university but saved money on living expenses by buying books and only eating instant noodles, and ended up dying from malnutrition.

If you die without giving anything back to society, you won't understand why you studied. I feel sorry for them. In this way, happiness and unhappiness are never determined solely by passing or failing.

(From 'The Way to Happiness' open_in_new)

From the past broadcasts of the popular radio program of Happy Science, 'Angel's Morning Call' open_in_new (national network + Hawaii KZOO), we introduce programs that we want you to listen to now. (You can listen to it in audio.)

(1) 'Tips for Winning Entrance Exams!' open_in_new [Episode 1151]