Lessons of the heart that you want to learn during the child-rearing period

The bond between parent and child is very deep.

It is rare for a parent-child relationship to form by chance.

From a parent's perspective, it is easy to think, "A capable child was born from my bond, but an incapable child was born by some mistake," but that is not the case.

Within the parent-child bond, the education of the soul is woven in.

The parent-child bond is set to solve the problem set of the family.

Therefore, even if parents suffer over their children, they must not forget that it is also a problem within the soul's problem set.

That child is a soul that you chose to be your child, and they are definitely a child connected to you. Within the process of raising a child, there is a significant lesson hidden. What is it? It is that "parents see their own reflection, their own likeness, in their children."

As a result, parents can empathize with various matters, reflect on their own childhood selves, and understand what their personality is like.

Children are a mirror of their parents, and parents must reflect on themselves as they see their children's appearances.

Moreover, for parents, children are very important "trees of hope" that fulfill their unfulfilled dreams.

（From 'Coffee Break' open_in_new）

Humans do not have multiple times the ability, so what is important is "what to choose," and as a result, there will inevitably be things that "must be given up."

If you think, "For me, the happiness of my child is what matters," then you may have to hold back a bit on your own career, and if your life is under strain, you may have to retreat from your child's education at a moderate level.

Child-rearing is not that easy. It is very difficult and requires a lot of effort. One of the reasons for the declining birthrate is indeed that raising children takes a lot of effort. Unlike in the past, the standard of living has risen, and the level of culture has increased, making it extremely knowledge-intensive and demanding.

If you misjudge the total strength in that area, everything may fail, or there may be a very significant setback somewhere.

In any case, the keyword is "knowing how to be content." You cannot do everything to the fullest, so you must give up something, and if you do not do so, you must be satisfied with a moderate level overall.

If you feel you are pushing yourself too hard, you must take measures at a moderate level. I think it is better to consider such things.

（From 'How to Nurture Individuality' open_in_new）

I have read many books on early childhood education, but there is one phrase that has stuck with me the most. It is, "Children are cute only until the age of five."

The book stated the following:

"For parents, children are only cute until the age of five, and by then, they have sufficiently repaid their gratitude to their parents. After six, give up.

Each person is struggling and striving for their own life, and children are also walking a difficult path, so if you place too much expectation on them, you will ruin their lives. Therefore, think that 'the repayment of gratitude to parents is finished by the age of five.' If you do so, the parent-child relationship will go well."

Just raising them until the age of five takes quite a bit of effort, but during that time, children give parents dreams and hopes. Moreover, children under five are the cutest, and relatively many of them listen well to what their parents say.

Therefore, it is better to think that "the repayment of gratitude to parents is mostly finished by the age of five." If you can compartmentalize that, it seems that unhappiness in the parent-child relationship can be avoided, and unexpectedly, children may become very filial.

（From 'How to Nurture Individuality' open_in_new）

"I am fine being the unsung hero. Raising children itself is my reason for living, and that alone is enough of a reward. After that, it is enough if the child lives a happy life." If parents think like this, children will not run away.

However, if parents think, "I will make sure to get back what I suffered for later," children will want to escape.

If you keep saying, "How much debt you owe me," whether it is the father or the mother, children will want to escape because they do not like debt collectors.

If your child starts to run away, it is better to reflect and think, "Do I have such a habit of speaking?"

（From 'How About You?' open_in_new）

When failing in child-rearing, most of the causes are either that the mother is demanding compensation for the parts where she sacrificed herself from the child or that she is venting her dissatisfaction with her husband onto the child, either of which can lead to the parent-child relationship not going well because it appears unreasonable to the child.

Also, when there are several children, it is necessary to treat all of them fairly, but modern women often struggle with this. However, if you cannot handle all the children fairly and skillfully, you cannot create harmony within the family. Especially, those who grew up as only children do not understand how to handle siblings because they did not learn it in childhood.

This may also be greatly influenced by the breakdown of the old primogeniture system.

In general, mothers tend to like children who resemble them and dislike those who do not resemble them.

Moreover, if they dislike their husbands, they tend to dislike the children who resemble their husbands and like those who resemble themselves, which is not fair. It is inevitable that children resemble either the father or the mother, and it is not the child's responsibility.

In such cases where the perspective towards children is biased, it must be corrected.

（From 'How to Nurture Individuality' open_in_new）

From the past broadcasts of the popular radio program of Happy Science, 'Angel's Morning Call' open_in_new (national network + Hawaii KZOO), we introduce programs that we want you to listen to now. (You can listen to it in audio)

(1) 'Hang in there! Mom' open_in_new [Episode 0963]
(2) 'Hints for Nurturing Children's Individuality' open_in_new [Episode 1061]