To those who blame themselves for their child's disability【Consultation】〈Hapimama Happiness Consultation Room Vol.1〉

Parenting is not a punishment game, but a 'treasure hunt'

I believe parenting, whether with a child with a disability or not, is a 'treasure hunt'. I think there are certainly challenges that may seem like a 'punishment game.' Having a child with a disability often means numerous visits to doctors and undergoing various diagnoses, accumulating experiences that one wouldn't normally have, which can indeed be tough and exhausting.

However, I believe there will definitely come a moment when what seemed like a punishment will turn into a treasure, so I really hope you can find one and keep trying until you do.

Let's discover the child's abilities

If I were to use the term 'treasure hunt' in another sense, discovering your child's abilities is indeed a treasure hunt.

For example, Helen Keller is very famous, but before meeting her teacher, Ms. Sullivan, Helen was left alone by her family and relatives in a way that seemed 'kind'—'This child has a handicap, so this is fine.' I think that was also a form of love.

However, Ms. Sullivan probably saw the treasures that Helen Keller possessed and made a determination to 'let's bring this out,' and was able to continue educating her based on that conviction. The energy of Ms. Sullivan created the great Helen Keller.

I believe mothers of children with disabilities are doing similar great feats for their children every day.

When adults around the child, trusted adults, expect and say, 'You have these good qualities,' the child will eagerly show those parts.

First, please discuss with mothers of children with disabilities and mom friends about how to view the child.

Cases where children diagnosed with autism later became geniuses

There are also cases where individuals with strong tendencies of autism have written works that influence parents of autistic children around the world.

In America, there is a person who was diagnosed with autism at the age of two but became a university professor in their teens. This person, said to have an estimated IQ of over 170, had their autism tendencies progress due to the education promoted by the state, so their mother rejected all public education and educated them in a way she thought was best.

This was not an education aimed at bringing their weaknesses up to average but a method of allowing them to engage in what they love. While they are focused, they were allowed to immerse themselves in it. As a result, a genius child was nurtured.

Let's discover the wonderfulness sleeping within children with disabilities

The emergence of such individuals is a sign that 'there are such wonderful aspects sleeping within children with disabilities.'

Therefore, rather than viewing them as 'troublesome children,' 'incapable children,' or 'nuisance children,' we should look at them with the perspective that this child may possess excellent ideas and noble spirits that ordinary people cannot conceive.

This will help draw out your child's treasures, and such interactions will also be a great treasure for those around them.

I believe Helen Keller was happy, but probably Ms. Sullivan was even happier.

The birth of a child with a disability is not a punishment game; rather, it is something that can transform into a treasure at a certain moment, and I think it would be good to raise children with that hope.