I want to feel that I am loved【Consultation】

In Happy Science, we perceive life as a problem set and learn the laws of the mind to achieve happiness. On this page, staff from Happy Science will answer specific problems encountered in life, such as relationship issues and worries at work or home.

Change your perspective

It is normal to want to be liked by someone you love, and because you love them, it is understandable to feel anxious that "someday his feelings might drift away..." However, if such feelings go too far, it could lead to binding him or directing feelings of dissatisfaction towards him, which could cause the relationship to become awkward.

First, instead of focusing on being loved by your partner, why not consider, "Have I been able to love him...?"

Many people think, "Love is being loved by others," and tend to think about how to receive love from their partner.

However, in reality, such a "heart that seeks from the other" creates suffering in one's own heart. This is because if one does not receive what they desire, feelings of dissatisfaction arise.

In Happy Science, it is taught that "Love is about giving to others."

In the book by President Ryuho Okawa 'The Laws of Happiness' open_in_new, it states, "Rather than thinking about what has not been given by the other, consider what you have not given to the other, reflect on it, and take action. This is the path to happiness."

It is not about how much you have been loved by others, but about how much you have loved others and expressed that in words and actions, which leads to your own happiness and the happiness of others.

Do not seek a return

At this time, it is also important to keep in mind the point of "not seeking a return for what you have given."

Thinking, "Since I have done this for you, it is only natural for you to return the same amount," is not true love.

It is quite difficult, but this might be the condition of being a good woman.

The starting point is gratitude

An important point to switch to "giving love" is,"to have a heart of gratitude."

The starting point of giving love is here. Throughout your life, you must have received various things from many people, such as your parents, friends, and teachers. Set aside the feelings of "I lack this and that" for a moment and try to recall one by one what has been done for you.

In doing so, your heart will be filled, and a sense of happiness will emerge from within. It is only when feelings of gratitude arise that one can change into a self who wants to "give to others."

If you practice this, surely the distance between you and him will shorten, and you will be able to have a happy love. Please do your best.